Life's Not A Dress Rehearsal

I've spent my entire life in education, why you might ask? The answer will always be the same, because I was pushed into it, because I was told that this was what I had to do to become successful, to get the job of my dreams. I've came to realise that this was the biggest mistake of my life. I enjoyed College and would quite happily say that it was the best time of my entire life, everything about it was perfect and at that moment in time, I had never felt the passion that I did then for Media...little did I know that was soon to take a horrifying turn. I began my degree in September of 2012, after the first few months I knew it wasn't for me and following my car accident and all of the terrible things that I encountered during these months of my life, I decided to drop out of uni and I had never felt happier, I was stress free. This was all until I decided to go back, due to the fact that I am not a quitter and that I didn't want to disappoint, I never want to disappoint. 

I'm now in my final year of University and most people would say that it would be the stupidest thing ever to give up now, but is that really so true? nothing has ever made me so stressed, this stress has caused me to get extremely behind on my work. My Final Year Project and Dissertation are due in around 2 weeks time….I've not even started it and I completely lack all motivation to do so. Naturally this is stressing me out but I am completely confused as to where I go from here, I just don't know what to do. 

I just want to skip forwards in time, I want to throw myself at the world and to start my life completely. I'm absolutely terrified of failing in life, it's my biggest fear and it's something that I need to overcome. I'm terrified of looking back in 10 years time and wondering where my life went wrong, wondering why I'm not where I want to be. I really hope that I am where I want to be. 

There's so much I want to do in life, no dream is too big for me to hope it comes true. In one of my earlier posts I created a bucket list, it was full of a wide variety of things if I do say so myself. Well in this post I'm going to give you a list of just 10 things, 10 major things that I want to achieve in my life, whether that's visiting a place or just doing something, I would also like to point out that these are in no particular order. 

1. Rome

For as long as I can remember I have always had a rather large fascination with Roman history and with this comes a great desire to explore the city. I've spent so many hours on the internet reading up and just looking up certain things about the city and I've came to realise that along with just how beautiful the city is, there's also some rather magnificent ancient Roman architecture that I would absolutely die to see. The Colosseum, like most people, is the first thing on my list, the pictures already show just how amazing this structure is, but to see it in person? Yes please! Another big thing on my list to see when visiting the city of Rome if The Pantheon, this structure was originally built during the reign of Augustus (27 BC - 14 AD) but was then rebuilt around 126AD, even after 2000 years the Pantheon's dome is still the worlds largest unreinforced concrete dome. There's so much to see in Rome, so much history to take in, I can't wait to visit this beautiful city, I can't wait to fall completely in love.

2. Paris in a weekend

Those who know me will know that I don't have a very big love for France, it's not one of my top places, I see Paris as being a little bit overrated, especially with places like Prague and Venice in the world, but there are some things in Paris that I absolutely have to see, I aim to take Paris by storm in just one short weekend. The number one thing that fascinates me when I think about Paris is The Louvre, although I'm not good at art myself, I love to see the work of others, I absolutely adore it. The Louvre is filled with many, many beautiful works of art, including the world famous Mona Lisa, I just know that I could spend hours here just standing in awe. Obviously if you go to Paris you have to see Eiffel Tower, although I don't have a huge fascination for this, I would still like to see it and get myself a few cheeky pictures. Paris is filled with beautiful monuments, that's the main reason I want to visit this city, I want to see Notre Dame Cathedral, which dates back to 1163 and The Roman catholic Basilica of Sacre Coeur. I want to visit the lock bridge, take in the culture, admire the art and take Paris by storm. 

3. Swim with Sharks

I love Sharks, I think they are one of the most wonderful, beautiful and misunderstood creatures alive today. There's not much to say about this, the title of this section pretty much speaks for itself. The only issue here is that I cannot swim and due to bad experiences with learning to swim when I was younger I have a little fear with learning to do so, but with this being such a big dream of mine, that's just something I have to overcome to that I can experience this. 

4. Have my own family

This is probably my biggest dream of all, if I can't do anything else in life but this, then I wouldn't actually care. For as long as I can remember I have always dreamed of having my own little family. When your time on this planet is up there isn't much you can leave behind that will actually matter, besides who you were and who you left behind. My family will become my legacy, when I'm gone from this world, I will live on through them. Having a family could be one of the most beautiful gifts in life, with this comes a life of adventure and a life of change. I can only imagine how wonderful this experience will be, I can't wait to make it my own experience.

5. Accept myself for who I am

Life is too short to spend another second at war with yourself, this is the motto I will continue to live by. It can often be hard to accept yourself for who you are, to understand that you are you and you are all you are ever going to be. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though! You get to decide who you are, you get to decide the kind of person you are going to be, the paths in life that you are going to take, you have the ability to change anything about your life should you wish to. I am me, I am the only me that is ever going to exist, I have countless number of freckles, heterochromia, the rosiest of rosy red cheeks ever possible, two feet, two arms, a head and a brain that makes me who I am, a brain that determines who I want to be and all that I can ever become. I've grown to accept this a little more over the past few years, I'm an awkward person, but that makes me who I am. I'm kind hearted and that's probably the most wonderful thing about me. It can take a life time to figure out who you really are and to completely accept it. That's what I hope to do, I hope to accept myself for who I truly am and to be thankful that I am me. 

6. New Zealand

New Zealand is arguably one of the most spectacular places that this world has to offer, just take a look at the breathtaking scenery if you don't believe me. Naturally, as The Lord of The Rings is one of my most favourite films, exploring the location of filming is an absolute must, especially hiking around Mordor! One of the main things I'd like to do in New Zealand is explore the the scenery because it's absolutely breathtaking in photographs, I can only imagine what it's going to be like standing right there in the middle of it. I want to visit the 'adventure capital of the world' that is Queenstown, the fun that could come from visiting this location is pretty much guaranteed, along with the views from scenery as well, what's not to like? I want to visit Milford Sound, which is often described as one of the natural wonders of the world. 

7. Japan

What can I say about Japan apart from the fact that I have had a fascination with this country for the longest time. One thing I aim to do before visiting Japan is to learn the language, or at least some of it. I want to see The Icicles of Misotsuchi which are the icicles that appear on the mountain located near the Awakawa River. Takeda Castle, although this was destroyed around 400 years ago, the stone wall still exists in it's original style. One of the main reasons I would absolutely love to visit Japan is to visit the historic landmarks, such as Shuri Catle Park, which harbours ruins from the Ryukyuan culture, Hiroshima Peace Memorial, which is the only building remained standing after the atomic bomb explosion during August 1945. I want to take in as much of the Japanese culture as humanly possible. 

8. See Taylor Swift live in concert

It's not a big surprise to anyone who knows me that this is one of my dreams. Taylor Swift has been my idol for such a long time and I fully believe she always will be. I just adore everything about her, she's just a wonderful human being. It's horrible knowing that I have still not seen her in concert, I just haven't been able to afford to when she's released tickets. I will see her, it doesn't matter which era this is in, but it will be a thing, it will happen. 

9. Prague 

The diversity of the city's architecture means there is something for everyone to enjoy. This city has so much architecture to offer, from Romanesque chapels and cellars to Cathedrals and palaces and gardens. There's so much I want to see in Prague, possibly too much to list, so I'll just talk about a few of them. Prague Castle looks absolutely breathtaking and is the largest ancient castle in the world. There's so much to see at Prague Castle that it could take days to full appreciate everything that it has to offer, from churches and gardens to Royal residences. Tyn Church is a gothic looking Church that can be viewed from all over Prague. The Church has two towers which can be admired due to their pure beauty, I've read up a lot about this church and have found that although this Church is wonderful to see during the day time, it's absolutely gobsmacking to see at night, so when I eventually get the chance to visit Prague, I aim to view it during opposing times, day and night. 

10. Berlin

One of the most important things I want to do when I visit Berlin is to explore the Jewish History, so I will visit The Judisches Museum. I want to visit the Berlin Wall and immerse myself in Berlins art scene. There's so much to take in, so much to experience. I love museums and there are so many to visit in Berlin, including the world famous 'Island of Museums' I want to visit The Brandenburg Gate, which is one of the best known landmarks that Germany has to offer. I want to visit The Holocaust Memorial, which is a memorial in Berlin that's dedicated to the Jewish victims of the holocaust. 

I could have talked about my most important and biggest dreams for hours and hours, but I had to stop myself, I haven't quite told you everything I want to see in these countries/cities, I haven't completely explained everything I  hope to achieve with my dreams because it would take far too long and this post is long enough as it is, I may take the time to take each one of these dreams and expand on the reasons why they are my dreams and why they are so important to me, so look out for those blog posts! I'm going to take a city/country a week and just tell you everything I love about it, that could make for some interesting reads.

Until next time!

Keep dreaming…

xo

The End Is Nigh

Yesterday I received my invitation to my graduation…

On the 14th July 2015 I will be walking through the doors at The Anglican Cathedral in Liverpool with the biggest grin on my face you will ever see. This is the day I have been anticipating for my entire life, the day I get up in front of many people, some faces familiar, some not, and receive my degree.

It's not news to you that I have hated every single second of my degree, but that doesn't stop me being unbelievably excited to graduate with my BSC in Broadcast and Media Production, it doesn't stop me feeling like I have achieved something, something that will make my loved ones proud.

Ever since the first moment I walked through the doors at the LJMU Byrom Street Campus, the one thing I wasn't looking forward to was graduation. This was mainly due to the fact that before this comes all of the hard work that gets you the degree, the constant battling with assignments and stress induced rage, not to mention the hell that is your final year project and dissertation...

I think this is the first moment I have been able to look past this, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the final hurdle and I am so ready. I'm so excited to see what my life has to offer, I'm so happy to finally be able to get myself into a situation where I am happy and not constantly stressing over the mountain of assignments surrounding me.

It's time for me to get stuck in, it's time for me to make my future happen, to make sure I have a life that I can be truly happy with, the days are coming that I won't forget and I am so ready.

Roll on July 14th 2015! I AM READY!

Watch out world, I'm coming for you!

Until next time

xoxo

It's Time To Free Your Mind

When surfing the internet, you can really come across anything, quite often these things can be amazing and they can really help you see things in a different way, it's how you interpret things that makes you different. 

If you're struggling to come up with something to blog about, I would suggest giving these questions a go, they can be interpreted in a variety of different ways, no answer is wrong. 

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

If age wasn't a thing and you didn't take my chubby, rosy cheeks into consideration then I would probably say that I would be in my late 30's or early 40's. My brain has always been a lot older and wider than I actually am, I've always been the kind of person who views life in a different way to those of similar ages to me.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying. To fail something is a far greater achievement than to never attempt it. To never try something means to not have the courage to attempt it, you can't fail if you don't try, but you also cannot succeed.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Most of the time in life we don't really get a choice, even if we think that we do. Life throws obstacles into our lives that often distract us from pursuing what we really hope to. Sometimes in life you have to do the things you don't want to do and you don't get the opportunity to do the things you desperately want to do. It's just life really, it happens to the best of us. 

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

I honestly hope not, I hope not more than anything, but I probably will have. I have too many dreams in life, I'm far too ambitious. I have so many dreams that I don't actually know if it's possible to achieve all of them. Out journey in life is far too short, but I will give it my best shot, I'm feeling hopeful. 

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

Animal Cruelty. All animals deserve love and attention, especially when they have never hurt anyone and would never even consider to do so. People can be inhumane, it breaks my heart. To look into an animals eyes and see love is one of the greatest things you could ever experience. The moment where you look into their eyes and see pain and fear is truly heartbreaking. If you don't care about an animal, well first off, you should never have chosen to get said animal, but also, you should pass them on to someone who will give them the love and attention that they truly deserve. Animal cruelty needs to stop. Animals are just as important as humans, and if you think not, then I truly feel sorry for your lack of judgement. 

Also, I would like to the change how people view the homeless. From experience, I have noticed that those who have nothing left to give will try and give you something anyway, but those who have everything to give, will more often than not act selfishly about it. We are all human, we are all equals, no matter how much money is in your pocket. To walk down the street and experience someone begging you for money and then walking away must make you feel like a terrible person, if this isn't the case then you must be coldhearted. They are equals, they deserved to be helped. No one should starve to death because no one will help them. Give to the needy, not to the greedy. 

 If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

There's so much that could honestly make me happy, if happiness was the national currency I would do so much much to change the world. To make those around you happy is the greatest gift you can receive. Working with animals could truly make me happy, being the person to look after them and keep them from harm. I'd also like to create movies around the world, aswell as photographing. Our planet is such a huge place for us humans, there are so many things to see. I just think making a difference in the world would be the biggest thing that would make me happy. Helping those who need the help, making a difference. 

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

I am definitely doing what I believe in. Although as it stands at this current moment, I don't think that I am in a good place with my degree, but i know that it's still the right thing for me, I still believe in it and I still want the overall outcome. 

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I would treat every single day with care, life is already precious enough as it is. I think I would have made different life decisions to ensure that I have started my life early, to ensure that I was happy.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I don't think that I have had control of my life in the respect that I have been stuck in the education system for my entire life, forever doing what I have been told and having a constant flow of assignments. 

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Both. I have always been the kind of person that try's to make sure I am doing the right things. I'm a good person and every single thing that I do in life is with the best intentions. I often get scared of doing things wrong, I'm scared of messing up. 

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

I would explain to them that the person of which they are criticising is a good friend of mine. I'd let them know that it's unkind to be so rude towards another person. I always try to have the nicest people as friends, I try not to have negative people in my life. I'm a good person, just like each and every one of my friends. At the end of the day, life is too short to have people in your life who could turn on you at any moment and hurt you or your loved ones. 

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Take every opportunity you get with open arms because what comes around once may never come around again. Have no regrets. 

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

It depends on whether it was the right thing to do. Breaking the law is something that I would never do. Everything I do in life is with the best intentions and that's something that will never change.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

In the words of the late Robin Williams 

"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it" 

Everyone is a little crazy, it just takes the right things to show it. 

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

I am a unique person. Like everyone on the planet there is only one of me. I look like me, act like me, talk like me and I am the only me who exists on this planet. I do being human differently to everybody else, because no one else is me. 

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

We are all individual people. Each and every one of us are separate being to everyone else. This means that we don't have the same interests as one another. One thing could make someone the happiest person in the world, but could make another completely miserable.  

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back?

Travel. Life is holding me back.

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

If you had of asked me this a few months ago then I would have said yes, I would have said that I often find things hard to let go, but that's not the case anymore. So no, I am not. 

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

There are so many amazing countries in the world that I don't know if I could choose. I'd love to live in Rome or NYC but I don't like the idea of living in one place for your entire life, the world has too much to offer.

Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

I press it twice, not because I think it comes faster but because I feel a need to do it twice rather than once, if I press it a third time I then have to press it a fourth. I do it with everything, pressing the button to cross the road, i cant help it and just think its something I do.

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

I'm a huge stress head, I worry about everything in my life and I just can't stop. I wish there was a button to turn it off. I would much prefer to be joyful.

Why are you, you?

Because I am who I was intended to be.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Sometimes when I look at myself, I think I have been one of the best friends some people could have, maybe I am bias and i think that because I am me. I'm a really anxious, awkward person with low self esteem and sometimes if I haven't seen someone for a very long time I find it hard to deal with the situation, I find it hard to act as myself. I'm always there for my friends, I try to help with anything as much as I can. 

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

Losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you. If someone can live so close to you then it shouldn't be so hard to continue the friendship, unless it wasn't meant to be. At least if someone moves away then there is very viable excuse. 

What are you most grateful for?

My family, especially my mother, she has always been there for me when I have needed her and without her I wouldn't be the person I am today. 

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

I would lose old memories, it means all of the pain from my life would be forgotten. It would be like an empty book and I could start again, recreating the story of my life. 

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

I don't think it is, something can't be certain until you have tried it.

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

My biggest fear is to lose my loves one. The moment that I lost my granddad was the most heartbreaking day of my entire life, I can still remember it like it had just happened, I can still remember how I reacted. Knowing that this pain is something I'm likely to experience again in life, leaves me feeling scared, scared of feeling this way again. 

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?

All I can remember from 5 years ago would be all of the hatred and tears I shed from my school life. I wouldn't say any of that matters anymore, but I wouldn't say it's forgotten.

What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

When I was little we lived in this area with woods near by and I remember being in them with both my siblings and my friends. I'm not sure how it happened but there was a small fire, and I just remember running to my uncle to tell him and him coming over not being able to find it…The reason that he couldn't find it was because the idiot had sat on it and put it out. This will always be one of my fondest and funniest memories. It's so hard to come up with the happiest memory because I just have so many. I had a really good childhood, filled with plenty of laughs. 

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

The moment I am holding a camera in my hands I realise how much it means to me.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Nothing, you have nothing to lose. We as humans are so scared of the unknown that we find risks extremely hard to take, we are scared about the effect it could have on our life.

Have you ever been with someone said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Sometimes you don't need words to fully understand each other, especially when it's someone close to you.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

People care too much about what other people believe in. People usually believe that it's pretty much their way or the highway. It all boils down to discrimination of other religions. 

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

No. Something that is good at one point could turn on to be evil. You can't figure this out without experiencing it, it's one of life's flaws. Things should be labelled with good and evil, it would save so much hurt.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

No because I don't think I would enjoy that. I would go travelling for a bit, that's definitely something i would do. I would buy my mum a little house and make sure she's happy. I wouldn't use the money to live off, more to make myself and those of which I care about happy. 

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More work of which I enjoy doing. If I enjoy it then why wouldn't I want more of it? I like to have things to do, I like to keep myself busy. I like to feel as though I'm being productive. 

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Yes. I feel like every day is a repetition of the previous. I feel like life is stuck on pause yet still on play. I would love for a change, a big change, something to happen to make my life different. 

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

I'm a very anxious person and one thing in life that truly does scare me is risks. I want to be able to risk everything for something I believe in and I hope one day I can but right now I can't. I too scared of messing up with everything and making those who love me disappointed and thats one thing I really don't want.

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

My family and dearest loved ones, I'd spend the entire day with them and wouldn't budge for a second, I'd just treat it like a normal day with them. 

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

Definitely not. Life isn't about how good looking you are or how famous you are, at the end of the day that doesn't matter. What matters is the people in your life who love you now for who you are. Life is a precious thing and you shouldn't want to reduce it for something so meaningless. Life is about being happy, being in the spotlight, not being able to be a private person wouldn't make me happy, It would probably make me very unhappy…I'd hate it. Yes I would like to be prettier, I really would, but this is my life, this is who I am and I shouldn't want to change it for anything.

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

To be alive means to be breathing, but to be truly living means to be enjoying life to it's fullest, to be happy and doing what you want to do in life. Everyone is alive but not everyone is truly living.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

When risking what we have is all we can do.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Because the stage in between making the mistake and learning could involve something horrible. The consequences could be of that with great repricautions on our lives and that's one of the scariest things.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I'd be happier with me, in todays society I fear that everyone is judging me and I take it far much to heart, I'm such a sensitive person. I would do whatever I love whenever I want to and I wouldn't have anything to fear.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Usually when I'm in bed, I notice it a lot then. When I'm on a bus or walking and I have my headphones in I feel like I am breathing really loudly and start panicking about other people hearing it too.

What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love so many things, I love making movies and photography, I love blogging…clearly and I just love doing what I enjoy. 

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?

I would like to think so. The past few days of my life has been amazing, hopefully that will continue and these are the days I will remember for a long time.

Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

I am making them for myself. One thing I would never do is give someone the power of my life. 

It's time to free your mind

Until next time! 

xo

Life is not a dress rehearsal - Bucket List

I've always been a dreamer, for as long as I can remember, it's just something that has always came naturally to me. I have decided to create a bucket list as a way to always remind myself where I want to go in life, who I want to be, and to ensure I never lose focus of that. I originally began writing my bucket list during the late stages of my high school years, and as time has passed I have been continuously adding things to said list, ensuring I don't forget to include something of importance. I dream big, that's something that will come clear the moment you begin to read this list.

"Become friends with people who aren't your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn't the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn't come from your social class. This is how you see the world, this is how you grow."

The bellow list is in no particular order, I wrote as I thought. 

Bucket List

1. Experience The Northern Lights from a glass igloo in Finnish Lapland.

2. Abseil off The Story Bridge in Brisbane, Queensland.

3. Visit The Grand Canyon.

4. Visit Niagara Falls.

5. Zip lining at Penthyn Quarry, Bethesda. 

6. Visit the base camp of Everest.

7. Visit The Louvre.

8. Visit Rome to see the Coliseum.

9. Visit the Eiffel Tower.

10. Visit Egypt to see The Pyramids of Giza.

11. Visit the 7 wonders of the ancient world, or the locations where they once stood.

12. Visit The Great Barrier Reef.

13. Mausoleum at Halicarnassus.

14. Walk along The Great Wall of China.

15. Visit all 7 continents. 

16. Explore an underground cenotes in Mexico.

17. Explore Venice

18. Visit and extinct Volcano.

19. Visit a live Volcano.

20. Visit New Zealand.

21. Swim with Sharks.

22. Put a lock onto the Lock Bridge in Paris. 

23. Climb The Sydney Harbour Bridge.

24. Visit all 52 States.

25. Visit Antarctica.

26. Explore the area around Area 51.

27. Visit Prague.

28. Visit The Sistine Chappell.

29. Visit Stonehenge.

30. Skydive.

31. Go on an African Safari.

32. Backpack Europe.

33. Go on an American road trip.

34. Visit the Taj Mahal.

35. Visit the Pink Lake located in Western Australia. 

36. Swim with Whale Sharks in Cancun.

37. Visit The Amazon Rainforest. 

38. Visit The Catacombs of Paris.

39. Visit The Anne Frank House.

40. Visit Gedenkstatte Berliner Mauer. 

41. Learn Japanese.

42.  Visit Shakespeare's Birthplace. 

43. Visit The Statue of Liberty.

44. Visit Australia Zoo. 

45. Write a book.  

46. Visit The Memorial and Museum Auschwitz - Birkenau.

47. Get Married.

48. Have Children.

49. Visit Sydney Harbour.

50. Visit Yellowstone National Park.

51. Dance in the rain.

52. Meet an idol.

53. Adopt an abandoned animal.

54. Experience the Superbowl in person. 

55. Attend San Diego Comic-Con.

56. Stand under the Hollywood sign.

57. Visit the Dead Sea.

58. Take a photo everyday for a year.

59. Give to charity.

60. Cage dive with Great White Sharks.

61. See Taylor Swift Live.

62. Buy a house.

63. Learn to drive.

64. Learn to swim.

65. Learn how to take a compliment.

66. Time Travel?

67. Plant a tree.

68. Fall deeply in love - helplessly and unconditionally. 

69. Spend a night in a haunted house, alone.

70. Perform infront of an audience.

71. Learn to play the banjo.

72. Attend a festival.

73. Understand that you can't please everyone.

74. Learn to shoot a gun.

75. Sleep under the stars.

76. Travel for a whole year.

78. Overcome my fears.

79. Visit the location where Lord of The Rings was set.

80. Visit Tour Patagonia.

81. Visit The Himalayas. 

82. Explore the temples and gardens of Kyoto.

83. Live in a different country.

84. Disconnect for a week.

85. Bury a time capsule.

86. Create a treasure map that directs them to nothing.

87. Graduate from University.

88. Study to become a Teacher.

89. Do a Masters degree.

90. Donate Blood.

91. Throw someone a surprise party.

92. Read 100 books in a year.

93. Say "Yes" for a whole day.

94. Write 365 letters to someone, one every day.

95. Take in as much culture as possible.

96. Do 50 random acts of kindness.

97. Shoot a bow and arrow.

98. Identify 10 constellations.

99. Follow my dreams. 

100. Accept yourself for who you are.

I hope you enjoyed my bucket list, and most importantly I hope I am able to experience the majority of the things on this list.

Why don't you share your bucket list? 

Until next time

 xoxo

Wish I'd Never Grown Up.

Looking around me I can't help but notice how much has changed.

It's quite strange to realise how far people have came in life in such a short period of time. Although it's been just under 5 years since I finished school (thank god) I can honestly say that it doesn't feel like two minutes ago that we were sat on a field drinking a cheap bottle of cider, or walking around in school uniforms dreading the day ahead of us, thinking we were in the worst place in the entire world. Was it really that bad? I mean, I hated school, I really did, but I miss the freedom, the fact that we didn't have a single care in the world. I miss the lack of stress that school involved. 

Quite a lot of people whom I used to know once upon a time now have a partner, finance, or are even  married and that's a great thing for you and I congratulate you, I just can't help but wonder when this will happen for me…although I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! That could be anything from Film Maker to Forensic Anthropologist, I don't have the slightest clue! 

So much has changed in such a short space of time.

I do have my own house, I have grown up a little bit, give me some credit! I am slowly entering the adult world, I may be living with my best friend and our house may be party central 90% of the week but still! Give credit where credit is due!

Noticing all of the changes people have experienced has given me the ammunition I need to reflect upon my life and who I am. I may not be the girl/women who has been working since they were 16, I may not have a boyfriend/fiancé/husband and I may not be with child, but that doesn't mean I don't encounter some of life's great struggles, trust me, I do! I would honestly say that I have had quite a few struggles in life, each time this has happened, I have fought my way through to the other side, coming out a better person than the moment I started.

I'm now 21 and I should probably start thinking more seriously about my future, although in all honesty? I don't really care what happens, so long as I am happy and have fun in life, that's all I want. That and to travel, but I talk about that way too much. 

I think the most noticeable reason for my lack of knowledge on the adult world is due to the fact that I have spent so much time stuck in the education system that I just haven't got a clue. Since I finished school I went to college and then to university, why you might ask? Because that's what I was told to do. I was told that if I were to go down this route in life, then I would come out on top with the job of my dreams, I was told that if I didn't do this I'd basically become a failure, I did this to make my mother proud, that's all I have ever wanted to do, but should this be making her proud when I am so unhappy? I'm honestly jealous of the people who finished school and decided to take it upon themselves to go and get a job straight away, I wish this was what I had chosen to do, my life would seem to have more meaning, I wouldn't be stuck in the rut I am in now.What I really want is to own my own video production company and if not? I want to teach media, to he honest theres a lot I want to do, I often get confused and feel uncertain about it all.

I'm getting a little sidetracked as usual!

I haven't had the typical 9-5 job (I mean I never want that) I've just had the university life, it's like a none stop party and it's great! I still find bodily functions to be rather humorous and if you ever involve the words "do do" together in a sentence then more fool you because I'm going to be rolling on the floor laughing for a good 10 minutes.

I'm really struggling with the idea of coming to terms with the life I have chosen, I chose to go to university, that's something I did, although other peoples opinions on how my life would turn out without this did influence this decision quite a bit. On the plus side, day drinking and waking up past 12pm are a regular occurrence for me. 

I think it's unfair that during school we are told that the grades we get and what we choose to study at college will determine the rest of our lives. I felt too young then and at 21 I still feel too young, too young to decide where I'm heading in life, too young to decide on a specific career, I don't think it's an easy decision. I fear that I should of worked for a little bit once finishing school, took the time out to decide who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go, I'm just as clueless now as when I was 16.

I have too many dreams in life. Knowing that I probably won't get the chance to live out the majority of them, if any, leaves me unmotivated. I've spent so much time already thinking I was working towards my dream, but now when I stand back and take that moment to really have a good look, I notice that's not the case, I'm not where I want to be, nor am I who I want to be.

Things in my life are going to change. I'm going to start living for me, Im going to start going things that make me happy. When the day I've been longing for (Graduation) comes about, I'm going to commit to being my true self, commit to finding happiness. I don't want to stay stuck in this godforsaken awful place any longer than I have to, I plan on traveling, making a difference in the world. 

Sorry for the rant, I occasionally get a little side tracked…

Happy 7th February, have a lovely day!

xoxo