Flash bursts

Isn't it crazy to look around you and think about how one day, not so far from this one today, you will be an elderly person, like those whom you may talk to on the bus, it's a completely crazy thought…

It'll happen in the blink of an eye. Suddenly everything will have changed and the only time you will notice is when you stop looking back at the days gone by and start looking at the years, that will be the moment you will wonder about how you got to where you are. Days turn into weeks, into months and into years, suddenly you're 60, 70, 80…That's the moment you will look back, the moment you will still feel as old as you do right now. That moment will come, the moment you look into the mirror as your once young self and notice the change. You will look back upon the amazing life that you have  behind you and wonder how you got to this moment in time so fast…it's as if you batted your eyes and suddenly you're much older than you once were. There will be flash bursts of past memories, they will all hit you at once and the only thing you will be able to do with them is smile…that's the moment you realise that you have made life your own.

Have you ever walked down the street or sat on the bus and noticed those whom are much older than yourself and wonder what they used to be like? When they were at the age we are right now…Their teenage/young adult years are now just a distant memory, a story to tell their loved ones. They are now parents, grandparents, possibly even great grandparents, one day that will be us.

When surfing the internet the other day I stumbled upon the following quote...


“Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different...”

― C.S. Lewis

This quote actually inspired me to write this post and it's possibly one of the truest quotes i have ever read. When you look at your life day by day you don't notice the change, everything happens gradully and over a long period of time, so long that you don't notice the changes. As soon as you look at the bigger picture, look at all the years that have passed by, you will notice every possible change, that's the moment it will seem like an eternity away. 

The future is always a interesting topic, it's quite a daunting thought, one day we will not be so young, so skinny and so pretty. You will never be as young as you are now, you will only age, but that just means you grow as a person too. The future is a wonderful thing, something to be excited about and you should be excited!

Life is just flash bursts of past memories, one day they will catch up with you and that's when you will notice how much has changed.

xo

Nothing lasts forever

I've just this week applied for my student finance, for the last time. It's actually really scary knowing that this is my final year at Uni.

I'm really worried about it to be honest, not just because I'll be finishing my degree and entering the big bad world, but because of how important my final year it.

I'm scared that I won't come out with the degree I want, I don't want to disappoint myself and most importantly my family.

The month of August is just around the corner and I haven't yet got a solid idea for my dissertation. It's not that I am short of ideas; it's more that I have far too many ideas and just can't settle on one. I need to choose the best one, the one I can do the greatest and it's the hardest thing choosing, especially when I'm not really a decision maker.

I need my dissertation to be the greatest work I have ever created. I want it to be something that makes me proud to call it my work, The film length must be at least 20 minutes; I find it so hard working with such specific lengths because it just means I can't do specific things.

I hate having all of these worries, the worrying of University, money and life in general. The future absolutely terrifies me. I am so afraid of the unknown. I mean don't get me wrong, I am excited to see what the future holds for me, but I'm so scared of filming out at the same time. I wish that I didn't have all of these worries. I wish I was still a little kid, running around without a care in the world. I don't think we knew how lucky we were. I'd give anything to go back, to not have all of this stress on my shoulders. I wish I had never grown up.

As a child all I ever wanted to do was grow up, but now I have reached the stage where I would give anything to go back. How were we to know that life would be like this? How were we to know that it would be so hard and challenging? I miss the freedom, seeing my friends all of the time and nor caring about how much money was in my pocket.

WHY CAN'T LIFE JUST BE SIMPLE?

I mean, I'm not complaining, well maybe I am just a little, but life is good right now, it really is. It's better than it has been in a long time, but I'm still so scared. I'm just a natural worrier. I can't help it, I worry about anything and everything. I'm actually quite a negative person, although not a lot of people will notice that. I'm really pessimistic. I can never look forward to the good things because I always worry about it going wrong, surely that's better than being disappointed? At least if I think negatively then I wont be too disheartened.

I hope to enjoy life more in the future, I just need my life to pan out the way I want it too, I need to know what's going to happen in the future, then I can start enjoying it.
xo