Have Courage and Be Kind

One thing that I've began to notice when I creative these wonderfully detailed posts of how my life is going is that I always manage to focus on the negative aspects of my life. I'm going to be the first to admit that I've always saw myself as a bit of a pessimist, which isn't the way I want to look at life.

My life is full of far more beautiful things than I sometimes think.

I sit here dwelling on the fact that one of my closest friends has basically abandoned me with no warning in a time I could of done with their support. I need to stop myself from thinking that I have probably done something to deserve this because I have done everything in my power to try and keep the friendship alive. This doesn't mean I'm not good enough, and I shouldn't see this as a massive loss for me. I would like to think that I am being the better person here because I have tried time and time again, with no response. Another thing I seem to concentrate on is how much I dislike my job, how much I dread waking up in the morning and spending 11 hours in the office. I just despise how people can treat another human being like something they have just stepped on. I have always tried to do everything in my life with kindness, and I would never just disregard someones feelings. I guess this is why I find it so hard to understand, not everyone has the same morals, some think they are better than others, and most only care about getting everything in their life for free. Again, I shouldn't think so negatively about this, I should think about how I can go to bed smiling because no matter how someone speaks to me, I will always smother them with kindness, making me the better person.

These are the kinds of things I find myself constantly focusing on, but alas, I say no more!

Life is all about happiness, being happy, and spreading happiness. When I take a good look at my life, when I way up the pros and the cons, I actually begin to realise that I am pretty content with my life. In a way, I have everything I have always wanted, a devoted partner, full time income, a house to call my own, and some time to do the things I love to do.

Once upon a time I thought that I knew everything about the world and what it had to offer, but then I realised I'm just a dreamer. I have spent my life thinking that all I needed to do to become that big time director was go to college and then to university, and then I'd have a beautiful degree and the job of my dreams. It was never going to be that simple, I had spent too long believing people when they told me that's all I'd need to do for this to happen.

I think I'm always going to be a ball of stress, I'm always going to be a rollercoaster of emotions,  and I don't see myself being decisive anytime soon. I'm just afraid of making the wrong decisions, I'm afraid of disappointing those that I love, and I constantly let my own insecurities get the better of me.

Little did I know that I already have everything I always wanted.

It's time to focus on the positives!

• I have a devoted life partner that gives me everything I need, although I probably take him for granted. I never imagined that I would find someone as perfect for me as he is. I have found someone who truly accepts me for who I am, and I have never felt so much love and appreciation. 

• My family and extended family are more than I could ever ask for. I have a group of people that I can go to with all of my problems, a group that I would trust with my life. I have never met so many people that encourage and inspire me.

• I have a job. It's not what I have worked for, but it's something to fill my days, a way for me to pay my bills, buy books, and go on the occasional adventure. 

• Speaking of adventure, I'm going to Rome very soon!

• I'm making plans for the future. Whether that be planning a holiday, picking out new furniture or deciding whether our house if big enough for the family we will one day raise here. 

When I take the time to think about it I come to the realisation that my life is pretty damn good! It can be hard to list the positive parts of your life, but I listed those without even thinking about it, and if I took the time to think I could probably come up with a lot more. 

Life isn't about everything being perfect, sometimes it's just about making the most of what you have. 

Things can take time, which is something life is made up of. It's time to focus on the positives and becoming the best version of myself I can truly be.

Time is precious

If I were to received a pound for every time I logged on here and began writing a post, only to delete everything I've wrote and close it, I would be UNBEARABLY rich. I absolutely adore blogging, it's one of my favourite things to do, but sometimes I wonder whether I actually have enough to talk about to continue to keep my blog alive, to continue to keep it interesting enough for people to come here and read. I just worry that I don't have the imagination to create wonderfully interesting reads. 

I'm finding that most of the time I'm struggling to find the time to come here and talk to you, my life has been taken over by work, and when I'm not working I'm most likely reading, or catching up on TV shows. I just never seem to have enough time to do all the things that I so desperately want and need to do in my life. 

The last year of my life and more so the last few months I've found myself falling into that horrible pattern that nobody wants to fall into. I wake up, I go to work, where I'm barely even treated like a human being with feelings, I then get home with barely enough time to eat, and then head off to bed. When I get home I'm lucky if I get to have some form of interaction with my other half, which is completely insane considering that we live together! I swear I don't see why I'm paying for a mortgage, I'm out of the house more than I'm in it. 

Hell is repetition, and my life is repetition. 

There's so much I use to want to do with my life, still so much that I want to do. I miss the times where I had the spare money and spare time to not work in a horrible stuffy office, instead I would get to run around with my camera and be crazy creative. 

When I was in University I would have gave anything for it to be over, for me to finally enter the real world with my degree and find a wonderful job that I could fall in love with. Little did I know the real world was never how I pictured it, how people told me it was going to be. No one ever told me it was going to be this hard, no one told me that no one would care about all I've put myself through in order to try and be the best version of me. I always thought that once completing University I would actually be able to fall into the career of my dreams. 

Work, bills, work, bills. MY ENTIRE LIFE. 

My partner and I have booked a trip to Rome very shortly, and I'm more excited about this than I have been about anything in such a long time. I can't wait to spend an entire 5 days in awe staring at the beautiful historical structures that will be standing before me, to be running around with my camera and not having a care in the world. I will completely be in my element, having my camera in my hand and my soul mate by my side. I've literally left myself completely broke in order to book this trip because it was the only way as I have less money now than I have ever had. That's completely hilarious considering this is my first 'real' job, my first real job and I have no money. 

I love certain aspects of my life, I really do. Actually, I love every small detail about my life, aside from the pathetic excuse of a job I currently have. I'm not saying this is an awful job, I'm not saying that people can't enjoy it because it really isn't the worst thing in the world. Honestly, it's just the kind of thing I always said I would never do, it's not the kind of thing that I've worked my entire life  I have a naturally creative mind and not one thing about this job fits my personality. I actually feel like my talents are going to waste, and I'm stuck here now, I don't know what the hell to do to get out, to get out there and do what I was destined to do, be the person I'm truly meant to be. 

In ways my life is a lot more than I thought it would be at this point, I have a wonderful partner, family, and even extended family. I am surrounded by the most wonderful people, people that I find inspirational and just love more than words can express, especially my wonderful better half. I just wish I wasn't stuck in a job I can't stand, I wish it was easy to escape into something that will fill my days with happiness. 

My hun and I 

My Reading List

Ahhhhhhhh! Books.

"You want weapons? We're in a library. Books are the best weapons in the world."

I give you my reading list! A list of books that will send you into a new world, and I'm looking forward to sharing my progress with this list.

Kathy Reichs - Temperance Brennan

• Deja dead
• Death du jaur 
• Deadly decisions 
• Fatal voyage 
• Grave secrets
• Bare bones
• Monday mourning 
• Cross bones
• Break no bones
• Bones to Ashes 
• Devil bones
• 206 Bones
• Spider bones
• Flash and bones
• Bones are forever
• Bones of the lost
• Bones never lie
• Speaking in bones
• The bone collection

Kathy Reichs - Virals Series

• Virals 
• Seizure 
• Code
• Exposure
• Terminal
• Trace Evidence 

Jeff Lindsay - Dexter series

• Darkly dreaming Dexter
• Dearly devoted Dexter 
• Dexter in the dark
• Dexter by design 
• Dexter is delicious 
• Double Dexter
• Dexters final cut
• Dexter is dead

Dan Brown - Robert Langdon Series

• Angels & Demons
• The Da Vinci Code
• The Lost Symbol
• Inferno

The Selection Series

• The Selection
• The Elite
• The One
• The Heir
• The Crown

...and the rest!

• Billy and Me
• Christmas with Billy and Me: A Short Story
• You'e the one that I want
• Dream a little dream
• Dream a little Christmas dream
• The fault in our stars
• Looking for Alaska  22/08/16
• The Abundance of Katherines 
• Dakota Days 
• War and Peace
• Great Expectations
• The Time Machine
• War of the Worlds
• Twenty thousand leagues under the sea
• Pride and Prejudice
• Pride and Prejudice zombies
• Emma
• If on a winters night a traveler
• Lolita
• The Odyssey
• Anna Karenina 
• To kill a mocking bird
• Wuthering Heights
• Mobydick
• The catcher in the rye
• Lord of the flies
• Crime and Punishment
• A tale of two cities
• The count of Monte Cristo
• A Christmas carol
• Strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
• Dracula
• The Picture of Dorian Grey
• The Diary of a young girl
• The wind in the willows
• Sense and Sensibility
• Jane Eyre
• Jurassic Park
• The Lost World 
• One flew over the cuckoos next
• Persuasion 
• A Sconner Darkly
• A Clockwork Orange
• The Establishment
• Catch 22
• Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
• The Silmarillion
• The Alexiad 
• 1984
• Animal Farm
• The forever series 
• Along came a spider
• Sphere 
• The old man and the sea
• For whom the bell tolls
• A farewell to arms
• Slaughterhouse 5
• Fahrenheit 451
• Train Spotting

What's on your reading list at the moment?

Leave suggestions in the comments!

My Brief Bucket List

Ashleigh's Brief Bucket List

I absolutely adore making lists, it's something that's been continuous throughout my life. I make shopping lists, to-do lists, music playlists, lists of films I have to watch, I just like to write lists all day and every day!

Now I'm pretty sure that if you have been here before, you'll have seen one of my MANY bucket lists, but today I'm going to share with you my brief bucket list of things I truly want and hope to do. 

1. Visit Rome. 

2. Write a book.

3. See Taylor Swift live.

4. Get a pet

5. Have a family of my own.

6. Skydive.

7. Become a morning person.

8. Go Whale watching.

9. Do what I can to support animal rights.

10. Get myself into good health 

What's on your brief bucket list? 

June Glossybox

I've been interested in these monthly subscription boxes for awhile now, and I finally decided to sign up for one. After spending days upon days researching, watching more videos than I could ever remember, I finally decided to sign up for Glossybox!

Now the first thing I was blown away by was how beautiful the boxes are, it's such a lovely pastel pink, and it's so simple yet elegant.

As you can see from this picture of the boxes contents, in this months glossy box we received 5 full size products, and one bonus sample. The boxes contents were worth around £60 and I must say that it was a fantastic first box!

Ladvial - Full Size 

RRP / £19.99

SHOP / boots.com

So the first product we have is the sun protection spray by Ladvial. This product is SPF 15, which is something that really disappointed me when opening the box because I'm really fair, and had this have been of a higher SPF I would have definitely used this! This product does sound very good though, and I may still give it a try as it's scientifically proven to protect four types of UV rays, and I'm now one to judge a product without at least giving it the benefit of the doubt and trying it. 

Emite Make Up - Full Size

RRP / £12.50

Shop / emitemakeup.com

The next products is a lovely lip and cheek tint by Emite make up. This is a two in one tint for both lips and cheeks, which I think is a great thing to throw in your handbag, there's nothing like a two in one product! 

Starskin - Full Size

RRP / £8.50

Shop / starskinbeauty.com

What's this? ANOTHER FULL SIZED PRODUCT! Here we have Eye Catcher, a smoothing Bio-Cellulose Eye Mask by Starskin. I'm yet to use this product, so I am unable to give my opinion on this products, but I must admit that I am excited to use this. Reading from the leaflet though, I know that this product is soaked in vitamin rich serum, they are super hydrating and are quick to reduce puffiness and dark circles. Dark circles are something that bothers me a lot, so knowing their claim to reduce this intrigues me into using this product soon.

Spa To You - Full Size.

RRP / £6.99

Shop / spatoyou.com

This months new discovery product is the Konjac Sponge by Spa To You. This is a very interesting product, upon opening this I was amazed by the sponge, and am really enjoying using this product. So this is the latest cleansing trend from Japan and Korea, they are made from the natural fibres of the konjac, which is a porous root vegetable. 

De Bruyere - Full Size

RRP / £9.48

Shop / Deruyere.fr

This is an After Sun Lotion by De Bruyere, and is another full sized product. This is another product that I am yet to use. This is for skin that feels a little sensitive after a day in the sun or to simply help prolong your summer tan. It's enriched with gardenia petals soaked in coconut oil, alongside vitamin E. 

Aussie Hair Care - Sachet 

RRP / £1. 09

Shop / aussiehair.com/hair

We also received a bonus product this month, which was a 3 minute miracle reconstructor deep conditioner. Now this is something I will definitely use as Aussie my hair brand of choice.

 I'm incredibly pleased with my first Glossybox, and really hope they continue to be as good, or better than the previous. I'll also continue to share the contents of my box with you here every month!

Are you subscribed to Glossbox?

Tell me what you thought of the June box!

I now pronounce you husband and wife

Hey my lovelies! This is just a super quick post to let you know what's been happening lately. So on Friday (yesterday) I had the pleasure of attending a family wedding, and I must say that it was absolutely beautiful. The whole event took place at Gibbon Bridge hotel, it began with a beautiful ceremony,held in the gardens of the hotel, and it was honestly like something from a fairytale. Following this there was a divine 3 course meal and then began the dancing and party fun.

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Hogan, you both looked absolutely stunning!

Until next time