The Blog-tember Challenge: Day 2 | Goals

Goals

Friday, Sept. 2: Share a list of your current goals.

Hey, lovelies and happy Friday to you all! I'm working today, but following my departure from work this evening, I actually have 6 days off and lots of plans!

It's now day 2 of the blog-tember challenge and I'm still going strong. This year I've decided to plan in advance for these posts because one thing I struggle with is finding the time to write, especially on my days in work. I'll be scheduling all of my posts in the hope of successfully completing the challenge without missing a day. 

I haven't actually compiled a list of my goals for a little while now so I'm quite excited to get everything down on this page. 

Monthly goals:

1. Read 4 books. I've always been a big lover of reading, I just often struggle to find the time to finish a book, but I've been doing a lot better lately. I'd ideally like to read more than 4 books a month, but let's start off light eh? 

2. Learn to swim. One of my biggest dreams is to swim with sharks because they are amazing and I just love them. I only have one little problem... I can't swim. Mike and I have been going to our local pool every single week in order to try and beat my fears and reach the ultimate goal of me learning to swim. It's going to take awhile, but we will get there!

3. Save. This is an always goal for me, not because I can't save, but just because life continuously gets in the way. There are so many wonderful things that I want to do, and obviously, they cost money, especially all of those Holidays. It's time to sort out Christmas, save for Japan, and all of the other wonderful adventures we plan to go on.

4. WRITE! Writing is one of my biggest passions, but sometimes life gets in the way. I come here as much as I can to talk to you and tell you all about my life. Another thing I'm trying to get finished at the moment is my own book, it's taking some time and I'm constantly distracted, but I will finish and will publish.

5. Enjoy working. I need to take the time to find a job that I could fall in love with. That's certainly something it's going to take, time. All I need to remember is that I have a job for now that will help me pay for the things I need, but there's a bigger end goal in sight. 

6. Do more things that make me happy. I love a lot of things, reading, writing, gaming, creating videos, and the list goes on. It's very easy to let life get in the way of the things you really want to do, and it happens to the best of us. I need to start using my time off work more productively.

7. Go to ALL of my hospital appointments. I hate the hospital, I absolutely despise it, and I've spent so long avoiding getting things checked out. All I seem to do at the moment is visit the hospital, and I have so many more appointments lined up. I'll make sure I attend them all, as much as I don't want to because my health is at stake, and nothing is more important than your health.

8. See my loved ones more. It can be hard to spend time with those you love when you don't leave too close to one another and when you have completely different schedules. I'm going to stop making excuses and just start making plans more frequently, no matter how busy life gets.

9. Visit Rome. It's booked, it's finally booked! It's now less than a month until we will be walking around the beautiful streets of Rome, and I'm unbearably excited. This trip is something I've waited so long to do, and along with this trip will come many things ticked off my bucket list.

10. Be happy. Happiness is the ultimate goal in life, it's all I strive for. I must admit that my life is pretty perfect right now, but things have a habit of changing. 

Some more goals...

• Get a new tattoo
• Exercise more
• Play more games
• Be decisive
• Stop procrastinating 
• Spend Christmas just us two, no matter how stressful
• Get Christmas shopping finished before November
• Do more of the DIY projects I constantly say I want to do
• Do more book/film/game reviews
• Buy a new sofa
• Cook more

What are your current goals?

Chapter Four: April

I know, I know, I haven't been posting as much as I promised that I would this year, I definitely haven't been keeping on top of my goals as much as I had planned to, in fact I didn't even set any for the month of March! It's all going to change, don't worry your pretty little heads!

Hello glorious Friday! I never understood why people enjoyed Friday's so much, I guess most people finish work for the week, but not I! I think each and every day is just as beautiful as the next, maybe that's the reason why. To be honest with you, I don't seem to work that many Friday's although I am this week! I always find my days off to be hectic, even more so than my work days, maybe because there's so much that I need to do, and also so much that I want to do, and i just can't possibly find the time to do all of it.

It seems a little strange when you think of a new month starting on a Friday, it feels like the end of the week (even though it isn't) and I guess you'd just expect a new month to always start at the beginning of the week, I don't know.

Making April Happen

Monthly Goals:

1. Read 4+ books. I really want to get back into reading a lot more, it's something I miss, a lot! It's something I struggle to find the time to do, but something I will start making time for!

2. WRITE! Writing is one of the things I love the most, I just need to write more, it's going to make me happier, whether this is blogging, script writing, or even finally starting that book I've been meaning to start.

3. Blog at least once a week. I adore blogging about anything and everything, sometimes I do find it hard to find the time to do it every week, but that's hopefully going to change!

4. Read before bed. I need to find a way to wind down before sleeping, something that doesn't involve technology.

5. Watch 25 films. I adore films, every single kind, so let's see how many I can watch this month.

6. Say NO to fast food! It's usually without noticing what I'm doing that I purchase some form of fast food, this is the month that I won't touch any, no matter what.

7. Spending freeze. I find myself forever spending unnecessary month, how am I ever to save for my worldly adventures if I am to continue this way? That's why this month I won't be spending any money on anything I don't need, wanting something isn't a good enough reason to blow my dollar.

8. Enjoy the little things. Sometimes in life, the little things can be the most amazing things, these are the things that each of us need to learn to appreciate more, I need to appreciate everything a lot more.

9. Simplify. It's time to get rid of the things that aren't needed in my life, whether that be clothing, paperwork, or toiletries, it's time to make space for the things that I actually need in my life.

10. Be happy.

Weekly Goals:

1. Read an entire book every week.
2. Blog at least once a week.
3. Visit the cinemas.
4. Make time for writing.
5. Disconnect from the world once a week.
6. Sort through files and e-mails.

Daily Goals:

1. Read every night before going to bed.
2. Wear my glasses every single day.
3. Eat home cooked meals.
4. Take a photograph every day.

Do you have any goals for this month? 

Share them in the comments below!

Chapter Two: February

Chapter Two: February

Hello there beautiful February, it's nice to see you. Can you believe that we're in February already? January has completely flew by!

I have to admit that after a very stressful beginning to January, but lovely end, I am quite happy to see February, I'm looking forward to seeing what delightfulness it brings my way. 

January Goals

1. Prepare for the big move. I'm all moved in! Preparation for this took FOREVER, but I got it done, I got everything moved, and i got the house sorted. I'm so relieved.  

2. Enjoy working. Nope, nope, and nope.

3. Celebrate my Birthday in style. I've had the most perfect Birthday ever this year, I have been completely spoilt. 

4. Read 2 books. Check, and check! The Bazaar of Bad Dreams, and Girl online. 

5. Watch at least 25 films. We have watched way too many TV shows to even nearly complete this challenge. This month we managed to watch The Lost World: Jurassic Park, The Revenant, Acacia, From The Shadows, The 5th Wave, and Poltergeist. We're now going to have to try harder to watch more in February, but we did watch The Walking Dead season 5, Supernatural seasons 9, and 10, OZ season 6, American Horror Story season 4, Pretty Little Liars, season 6.

February Goals

1. Clear my overdraft. I've been stuck in a student overdraft for the past 4 years, and it's just to painful to think about. I'm nearly halfway to clearing it now though, and I'm hoping to get that done this month.

2. Shopping freeze. I need to begin to save, save, and save! There are so many things that I want to do, so many beautiful places I want to visit, and I really need to start saving so that we can live a wonderful life.

3. Read 2 books. I'm hoping to read at least 24 books this year, that's two a month, although I would love to surprise myself by completely annihilating that goal. 

4. Watch 25 films. I love movies, but I want to make sure I watch as many as humanly possible, so this year I'm aiming to watch AT LEAST 300 films, hopefully a lot more. 

5.  Enjoy working. Find a job that I truly enjoy. I know now more than most that I'm really not going to be able to work to my truest potential in a career that I just don't enjoy, I need to find a reason to look forward to getting up for work in the morning.

6. Be happy.

What have you got planned for February? 

2016...the year that i become fearless

Fearless

How often is it that you find yourself frozen by fear? You're unable to move, your heart racing, and your palms sweating, you know the feeling, because you've been afraid.   

"And I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me headfirst fearless. And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress fearless."

What does it truly mean to be fearless?

I find it prodigious how many different meanings one single word can have, how you define one word may not be the way that I define is.

Here's how google defines the word fearless.

fearless

ˈfɪəlɪs/

adjective

1. showing a lack of fear.

   "a fearless crusader for animal rights"

   synonyms:

   bold, brave, courageous, intrepid, valiant, valorous, gallant, plucky,lionhearted, stout-hearted, heroic, daring, dynamic, spirited, mettlesome,confident, audacious, indomitable, doughty;  unafraid, undaunted,unflinching, unshrinking, unblenching, unabashed;  informalgame, gutsy,spunky, ballsy, go-ahead, have-a-go, feisty;  rareventurous "the most fearless man I've ever seen in battle"

Everyone experiences fear in their life and it's not something you can escape, it's part of what makes you human. 

I want to become fearless, I want to allow myself to not run away the second I'm afraid, I want to be brave enough to try new things, meet new people, visit new places, and just be happy in myself. 

I believe that being fearless doesn't mean that you're not afraid anymore, it's more that you're taking those steps to try and overcome it, you're pushing yourself through the fear.

For as long as I can remember I have been afraid of life, afraid of the consequences of every single one of my actions, afraid of saying the wrong thing and hurting peoples feelings. It's hard to enjoy life when you're over analysing every single aspect of your life to the point that you can't really enjoy things because you're too afraid of something going wrong, too afraid of messing something up. 

"It takes courage to overcome fear and bravery to banish it."

I want to be able to stop running away from the things that I fear the most, I wan't to be able to live a truly fearless lifestyle. 

What are you afraid of? Are you trying to overcome these fears? 

Making January happen

January Goals

Hey again, it's me! Yes, I'm back again, how amazing is that? I hope you've all had a fantastic start to January so far. I've spent the last couple of days hanging with dear friends and preparing to move home, it's been quite marvellous, until I fell ill last night anyway, but I'm sure I can power through that as always.

I've already shared a good few posts with you this year and we're only on day 4, and I know I shared my overall goals for this year with you, but continuing with last years tradition, sharing monthly goals.

Monthly Goals: 

1. Prepare for the big move. At the end of this month I'm actually moving in with my partner ( I'm saying that as if I haven't mentioned it before haha!) and I have ALOT to do, including packing, tidying and just a lot of stuff. I'm going to write a check list of things that I need to do for this, I imagine the list will me longer that I am tall. 

2. Enjoy working. Find a job that I truly enjoy. I know now more than most that I'm really not going to be able to work to my truest potential in a career that I just don't enjoy, I need to find a reason to look forward to getting up for work in the morning.

3. Celebrate my Birthday in style. I'm incredibly excited for my Birthday this year, I have so many great friends that I'll hopefully spend a little bit of time with over this period. I'm especially looking forward to spending the actual day of my birth with my love. 

4. Attend Thomas' 2nd Birthday Party. My partners nephew turns 2 towards the beginning of next month and will be having a party towards the end of this month, children's parties are the best kinds of parties...cake. Yay! 

5. Read 2 books. I'm hoping to read at least 24 books this year, that's two a month, although I would love to surprise myself by completely annihilating that goal. 

6. Watch at least 25 films. I love movies, but I want to make sure I watch as many as humanly possible, so this year I'm aiming to watch AT LEAST 300 films, hopefully a lot more. 

I'm starting off a little lighter with my goals this month, especially considering how many goals I've already set myself this year. Following the end of this month I will post a recap of January, which will include my progression with the above goals and my goal setting for the month of February. 

I now need to go and sit in a dark room for awhile in the hope that this migraine disappears. 

New Year: Chapter One

Something about a brand new year just fills me with an overwhelming amount of excitement, ahh, I can smell the opportunities in the air. It fills me with complete joy to know that so much may happen this year, so much will happen this year, and I literally have no idea what the world has in store for me. 

The one thing i struggle with every year is setting my goals for the new year, mainly because they actually mean something to me,. I want each of my goals to be something I truly want to accomplish. 

So before I throw my goals of 2016 out there for all to see, I would just like to wish every one of you a Happy New Year, I hope you managed to bring in the New Year in the most magical way possible, I know that I sure did.

A new year can mean only one thing; new beginnings. This is the year, this is my year! This is the year I make things happen, make my wildest dreams come true, and I wish everyone the greatest of luck with whatever they have planned for the year ahead. 

I love the beginning of a new year, it's a whole 365 blank pages in the book of our life, a whole 365 pages that we can do anything with.

So without further ado, let's welcome in January! I hope that January is truly kind to you all, and you are to it. We're only going to get one January 2016, let's make it amazing! 

2016 Goals

1. Be fearless. Be in control of my own life. Make decisions without being afraid of the consequences. Stop imagining who I want to be and just become that person. Believe in me, if I can't do this then how can I expect someone else to? Stop being afraid of life. 

2. Stay motivated. Surround myself with people who inspire me and rid myself of those who don't. 

3. Do more things that make me happy. Find a reason to be happy. Live life how I want to, it's the only life I'm going to get, there's no point being unhappy. Travel. Meet new people. Explore. Find new passions. 

4. Cross something off my bucket list. NO EXCUSES!

5. Blog more. I'll be thankful of it when time has passed by, I'll be able to reread the experiences I have documented. 

6. Commit to kindness. Being good to people will be more rewarding than most other things in this world. Making other people happy will make me happy. Don't judge. 

7. Change something about my life that matters. Although I don't know what this is just yet, I'm sure I will know when the time is right. 

8. Take one picture everyday. The world is beautiful and wonderful things happen every day. It's time to make sure I remember them. 

9. Write a book. This is something I have been meaning to do for the longest time and this is the year I will make it happen. 

10. Dream it. Wish it. Do it. 

Other Things to do during 2016 

Move in with my gorgeous partner. 

Be more of a positive person.Be happy.Learn to love me.

Travel. Photograph EVERYTHING.

                                                                       Read many books.                                                                                           

I really hope that January is kind to you all, I hope many new doors open for you as every old door closes.

All the best!

    

I'm moving forward

There are times when I go through phases where I don't blog, I don't even think about blogging. Sometimes I just completely forget, whereas other times I have writers block. Sometimes I leave for a few days, sometimes for a few weeks, and sometimes for a few months, but I'll always come back, always.

I have a little bit of news...I actually have a pretty little job! That I imagine after working 40 hours a week will soon lose the pretty part. Although it's going to mean ridiculously early mornings, long bus journeys, and ridiculously long days, I think I'm okay with that, for now anyway. The time is fast approaching where I can SAVE, SAVE, SAVE! My inner traveller is just excited to burst out, and I can't wait to take myself and my camera away on wonderful adventures where we can take beautiful photos and write blog posts.

The last 3 years of my life have been incredibly long, painful and stressful, and every bad descriptive word that you could ever possibly think of. For the entirety of University I was stuck in such a bad place, and I don't mean because I was involved in a car accident or any of the other bad things that happened during this time...I went through stages of hating everyone and the world around me, but I've made it to the end of that era of my life and I believe myself to be a much better and happier person. I will always consider that to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life, I will always hate that I let society and the educational system determine which direction my life would go in, but I will learn from these mistakes. 

I can be the most inspired and determined person in the entire world, but for that I have to have passion, without the passion the determination and inspiration is not going to be there. I won't seek a career in movie making, I will however try to reconnect the passion I once had, I will try to learn to love media the way I once did.

I do hope to somewhere down the line pursue a career in photography, or travel blogging, or writing. The two biggest things in my life right now are writing and photography, it would be an absolute dream come true to gain a career in these industries, all I can do is work at it, maybe somewhere down the line I will make dreams come true, but for now I will make my dreams of seeing the world come true. 

My story doesn't end here, my story begins here...the future is a wonderful thing full of mysteries. All I can do now is send my CV out everywhere in the hope that someone wants me, in the hope that someone sees my potential and believes in me. 

Life for me right now is about being happy. I'm going to go on some wonderful adventures, hopefully with my camera in hand and the man of my dreams stood by my side. I'm going to take beautiful pictures because that's what I do best. I'm never going to stop dreaming, I'm never going to stop blogging, I'm back and I'm not going anywhere.

Ashleigh
xo 

Stay Strong: Hello June, Goodbye May

Sitting at my dining room table peering through the window next to me, I can't help but find it hard to believe that we've already made it to June, the weather really doesn't look like June weather, but then again, this is England!

Last month I told you how April had been one of the hardest months of my life and I was feeling hopeful for May…May was even worse than April, by a mile!

My beautiful Grandmother was taken to hospital during April of 2015 and in just over a month we found out various horrible things, the worst being that she was fighting a battle with cancer and on the 9th May 2015 my Grandmother unfortunately lost her battle and it has completely broken me as a person.

My family and I suffered a tragic loss, her soul now rests with my wonderful Grandad, I can't help but feel grateful for the last 21 years that I got to spend with her, she was my grandmother, she will always be my grandmother, but now she has been reunited with the love of her life and I will always love and miss her more than words could ever express.

On the 26th of May a funeral was held for my Gran ts Halton Lea Crematorium, saying goodbye to her didn't seem right, nor real, everything happened so fast that is just seemed like a nightmare, I wish that was all it had been.

Finding my happy place is so hard at the moment, I can't seem to find it, no matter how hard I try. My mind forever returns back to my Gran and from that moment onwards all I can do is cry uncontrollably.

Seeing someone you love suffering in such a horrible and painful way is one of the most hardest and heartbreaking things that you could ever experience. I really hope that my Gran is now happy, I hope she's no longer hurting, and most importantly, I hope that she knows how much we adore her, how much she means to us, that we will never, ever stop thinking about her and that we love and miss her dearly.

I'm trying to stay strong, but it's so hard knowing that I will never see her face again, never hear her laugh again, my heart is broken, but I'm so glad that she's no longer in pain.

The reality of it all is that you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss that you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same again. Nor should you be the same, nor should you want to be.

Goodnight Gran, I love you more than words could ever explain and I miss you dearly.

This isn't goodbye, this is just so long for now because we will meet again one day, send our love to Grandad.

Sleep tight 

xxxx

                                                                                                                                                                        

Looking back on May, aside from all of the bad, I'm finding it incredibly difficult to reflect on the rest of the month, it all seems like such a blur.

My handsome boyfriend and I attending our second NTL screening, which was a play by George Bernard Shaw called Man and Superman.

I was absolutely speechless by the end of this play, it was incredibly remarkable. There was some brilliant talent included within the play and it was incredibly intelligent. 

If you ever have the chance to attend this play, take that chance because you won't be disappointed. 
                                                                                                                                                                        

MAY GOALS

• Wake up in time for the sunrise every morning. I'm actually really excited to fullfill this goal, I often find this a ever growingly hard thing to do, mainly because I'm such a night owl, but I do love mornings, I love the morning feeling (if you ignore the waking up part). - I've almost got this one!
• Read 4+ books. I absolutely adore reading, I have a huge pile of books that I need to make a start on and I hope that during May I have plenty of time to start them.
• Spend loads of time with Granny P. I want to spend as much time with Granny P as possible, I'm so scared of what might happen, I'm so scared of losing her. I have to spend as much time with her as I possibly can because I adore spending time with her. 
• Help Mummy P move home. So my mums finally moving home and town, which is going to suck a little more me, but I'm really excited for her, she deserves and needs this. 
• Work towards achieving my dreams. I'm going to have to see how May pans out before I can fully dedicate myself to working towards this goal this month, fingers crossed that I have the time for this. 
• Make progress of my book. I've started writing a book and I'm quite excited about it, I haven't wrote all too much, but it's going to take some time. 
• End procrastination for good. I'm a master at procrastination, but it's something that irritates me about myself.
• Disconnect from the world when working. This was something that I managed to do last month, I've found it to become quite a positive thing, I get a lot more done without the internet. 
• Blog every week. I love blogging about anything and everything, especially my feelings and what's going on in my life, so expect plenty of posts this month. 
• Visit many book stores and read many books. As I've said, I love reading, adore it actually, I can't wait for this one. 
• Be happy. Happiness is the most important thing in this life

During May I began to find it incredibly difficult to stick to my goals, life was out of my hands and I couldn't determine the way the month was going to pan out, but this just means some of  May's goals will be returning as June's goals.
                                                                                                                                                                        

JUNE  GOALS

• Wake up in time for the sunrise every morning. I'm actually really excited to fullfill this goal, I often find this a ever growingly hard thing to do, mainly because I'm such a night owl, but I do love mornings, I love the morning feeling (if you ignore the waking up part).
• Gain myself a job. This is the only thing that I now need in my life to make myself pretty much perfect. Plus, once I've done this, I can start saving to travel!
• Read 4+ books. I absolutely adore reading, I have a huge pile of books that I need to make a start on and I hope that during May I have plenty of time to start them.
• Celebrate my Mother's Birthday. My mum turns 50 this year, although she'd hate me for telling you that! We have to make this Birthday the best one yet, especially with all of the bad that happened last month.
• Work towards achieving my dreams. I'm going to have to see how May pans out before I can fully dedicate myself to working towards this goal this month, fingers crossed that I have the time for this. 
• Make more progress of my book. I've started writing a book and I'm quite excited about it, I haven't wrote all too much, but it's going to take some time. 
• End procrastination for good. I'm a master at procrastination, but it's something that irritates me about myself.
• Finish sorting out my room. I've only just started making my room my own, it's becoming my own little escape from the world, my little hide out. I've been surrounding myself with memories, pictures and quotes of things I love. 
• Disconnect from the world when working. This was something that I managed to do last month, I've found it to become quite a positive thing, I get a lot more done without the internet. 
• Blog every week. I love blogging about anything and everything, especially my feelings and what's going on in my life, so expect plenty of posts this month. 
• Visit many book stores and read many books. As I've said, I love reading, adore it actually, I can't wait for this one. 
• Be happy. Happiness is the most important thing in this life

I honestly hope that June gives me a funner ride than April and May because I cannot handle another bad month.

I pray that June is a better month that May.

I pray for no more bad news, I can't handle anymore bad news.

I pray that everything in my life will work out.

I pray that life gets better.

I hope June ends up being all you hope for it to be

Signing off

Ash.

xx

Be Brave: Hello May - Rant, Reflection and Goal Setting

Hey there May, how's it going? I've been waiting for you anxiously, it's rather nice to see you to be honest! 

April has been one of the hardest months of my entire life. I would honestly like to feel hopeful that May is going to throw some good news and positivity my way, but with all of the heartbreak that I have endured during April I can't really see that happening, I will try to be hopeful. 

So like I just said, April has honestly been one of the hardest months that I have ever lived through, the hardest since the passing of Grandaddy P. Honestly, it breaks my heart knowing how much pain Granny P is in at the moment, it's breaking me down. I know that I have to stay strong for her, I know that every time I see her beautiful face I have to be brave, I have to show her that it's not killing me inside, even though it is. 

I've spent so much of April breaking down emotionally that I'm struggling to find my happy place, I'm struggling to remember a time before this, it feels like we've been living with this for longer than we have. People often tell you to prepare yourself for the worst when a situation like this occurs, but I don't think that's possible at all, you can expect something but the moment that it actually happens it's going to break your heart, possibly and probably more than you thought it was going to, it doesn't matter that you've tried to avoid feeling like that. 

I pray every single day that Granny P will recover, I pray that her pain will vanish and that she will become the Granny P that my family adore and miss so very, very much. I pray that we aren't going to lose her because I don't know what I would do or who I would be without her, I don't know how I would get past that. For as long as I have lived I had always thought of her as invincible, even through the passing of my Granddad. I never once thought I would ever lose her, she was always my invincible Grandmother. 

Family is the most important thing in this world, more important that money, power and pride, it comes hand and hand with happiness. Family is my happy place and right now it's broken and I pray that it's not broken beyond repair. Remember the good times, that's what everyone tells you, but it's not that simple.

I'm going to be honest with you straight away, I didn't check up on my goals at all during April and I doubt that I've completed many of them, hopefully May will be a better month.

APRIL GOALS

• Fix my sleeping pattern.
• Wake up in time for the sunrise as often as I can.
• Read 4 books.
• Decorate Easter Eggs.
• Bake Easter Egg cupcakes.
• Work towards achieving my dreams. 
• Complete 4 chapters of my book.
• End procrastination for good.
• Disconnect from the world when working.
• Fly a kite.
• Complete the 'walk in her shoes' challenge. 
• Blog every week.
• Visit many book stores and read many books
• Visit a farmers market.
• Pick fresh berries.
• Be happy. 

I told you I didn't complete much, I'm honestly surprised that I completed anything!

MAY GOALS

• Wake up in time for the sunrise every morning. I'm actually really excited to fullfill this goal, I often find this a ever growingly hard thing to do, mainly because I'm such a night owl, but I do love mornings, I love the morning feeling (if you ignore the waking up part).
• Read 4+ books. I absolutely adore reading, I have a huge pile of books that I need to make a start on and I hope that during May I have plenty of time to start them.
• Spend loads of time with Granny P. I want to spend as much time with Granny P as possible, I'm so scared of what might happen, I'm so scared of losing her. I have to spend as much time with her as I possibly can because I adore spending time with her. 
• Help Mummy P move home. So my mums finally moving home and town, which is going to suck a little more me, but I'm really excited for her, she deserves and needs this. 
• Work towards achieving my dreams. I'm going to have to see how May pans out before I can fully dedicate myself to working towards this goal this month, fingers crossed that I have the time for this. 
• Make progress of my book. I've started writing a book and I'm quite excited about it, I haven't wrote all too much, but it's going to take some time. 
• End procrastination for good. I'm a master at procrastination, but it's something that irritates me about myself.
• Disconnect from the world when working. This was something that I managed to do last month, I've found it to become quite a positive thing, I get a lot more done without the internet. 
• Blog every week. I love blogging about anything and everything, especially my feelings and what's going on in my life, so expect plenty of posts this month. 
• Visit many book stores and read many books. As I've said, I love reading, adore it actually, I can't wait for this one. 
• Be happy. Happiness is the most important thing in this life. 

I can't help but apologise for my emotional breakdown at the beginning of this post, but if you know me personally or you have experienced something like this then you will know what I am going through and how I am feeling.

I pray that May is a better month than April.

I pray for no more bad news, I can't handle anymore bad news.

I pray Granny P recovers.

I pray life gets better.

Have a lovely month,

Ash. xx